


Sweet Boy

by Mattie_the_Pand0rk



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Undertail (Undertale), Angst and Fluff and Smut, Body Worship, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drugging, Drugs, Dysphoria, FTM Reader, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gentle Sex, Gentleness, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kissing, M/M, Menstruation, Self-Harm, Sex, Sleepy Cuddles, Suicidal Ideation, Suicidal Thoughts, Surgery, Tentacles, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, reader is a transgender man, slight body worship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2020-05-07 12:16:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19209253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mattie_the_Pand0rk/pseuds/Mattie_the_Pand0rk
Summary: You're just a shy lil transboy who happens to be living under the care and comfort of a certain fluffy lich Monster. He's taken the role of your Daddy, in everything regarding your life. Not that you mind.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a working title for a group of drabbles that will touch on subjects like ftm transitioning, medical issues, some fluff, some smut here and there. More or less slice of life with Aster and the reader.

"Here, Darling. I have a hot water bottle for your belly. Can you lay on your back for a little while?" Aster sits next to you on the edge of the bed, holding the red bottle in one hand and rubbing your leg over the comforter. He's been helicoptering for the past two nights because of your rather serious condition.

You're laying on your side curled up and trembling in pain. Having only started your testosterone HRT last month, your periods still haven't even begun to lighten up. And with how much stress you'd been getting from work, it feels like your cursed uterus is just doubling down on making you suffer. You considered taking up his offer on quitting there and going back to school full time to get a degree in computer science, but you're still unsure if you really want to quit another job again for something that may burn you out anyway. Despite how nice his reassurance is that he'd move you into his home so you didn't have to worry about food, rent, or transportation at the very least, you're adverse to it solely on you'd feel like you'd be taking advantage of the kind Monster. He's already going out of his way to let you stay on your days off and coddling you like this. 

You whine and whimper, but nod. Aster helps you adjust so you don't have to move too much, cooing apologies to you the whole time. Though he's not probably ever had a period, he is mercifully gentle and understanding to your plight. No wonder he's popular with everyone for his medical practise. "Thank you, Daddy," you sigh as he tucks the hot water bottle under your pudgy belly and slips a pillow under your knees.

He smiles sweetly. "It's alright, love." Aster reaches forward to pet your short, tousled hair. You sniffle a little, the throb reducing just a bit as the heat begins to radiate into your tense muscles. Your head tips into his palm. His hands are so warm, and soft. "Aw. Poor thing. Is there anything else I can do for you? I might have some medicine to help you relax..."

You wince a little. You are rather adverse to medication of any kind, even though you know you can trust this brilliant Monster. "N-no, thank you, Aster. T-the bottle helps a little. I'll be okay." Your body betrays your words, and your whole body curls in on itself for a few seconds while your cramps fight through the relaxing heat.

Aster gives you a look between incredulous and concerned. "Darling, come now. This is not a time to be conservative with how you feel. I can see that your anaemia is escalating. You could barely move on your own. The pain is making you a bit green, as well." He runs his fingertips under your jaw lightly. His touch makes you sigh a bit and close your eyes. It feels so nice compared to how you feel otherwise, and it's hard to say no to him when he's like this. You groan when you hear and feel him move around, and you hear a door close. You know he's headed to his home office and move to hide. Is he coming back with a needle? Several needles? You know he does prefer to use those instead of pills because they work faster and it's more effective, but he knows that you hate them. 

He returns, and your eyes snap open. He has two bottles in his hand, and a glass of cool water. "Here, love. I knew I had some pain relievers somewhere. Don't worry--these are just "over the counter" tablets." He sets them aside and helps you sit up just a bit more. Your Daddy slips under you to cuddle for a while as he hands you two pills from one of the bottles and the water to wash them down with. He takes a meter from his pocket and takes your hand without permission. You try to pull away but before you can even react he's pricked your finger and taken a sample of blood from you.

"Ow! What are you doing?" You rip your hand away and hold it against your chest, but it's too late, the damage has been done. Your finger throbs and makes your stomach turn a little.

"Checking your iron, Darling," Aster replies simply, staring at the screen while he waits. He kisses the top of your head and rubs over the water bottle on your belly. It reminds you that you need to relax, and you comply with the silent reminder despite the ache in your hand now. He sets the meter aside and grabs the other bottle to give you one more pill, this one an ugly green colour. You turn your nose up at it, unsure of what that could be and too wary to even think of asking. "Sweetheart. This is a supplement. If we don't keep up on it now you will be very ill." Aster kisses you again. "Please?" You sigh, and take the other tablet, swallowing quickly. Ick. Metallic. "Good boy," Aster coos with a hug around you. It makes you blush.

"Thank you, Aster." You start to feel very small again, and you nuzzle into him. You've noticed his presence tends to do that to you, not that you mind. It's kind of nice in a way, not having to worry about everything all the time.

Your mind starts to drift a little as the pain starts to finally go away. You think of when you met. He was at the hospital you were going to about some complications with your monthly cycle that had gone on for 2 months. He happened to be in the right place at the right time. The doctor you had was about to just release you without helping you because you mentioned you just wanted a hysterectomy and because you hadn't had any kids she refused. Even though you told her that you never wanted kids anyway. Aster was there watching her practise when he realized what she was doing, and helped advocate for you and got you to see a different doctor for another opinion. He stayed to make sure you got some sort of help, which at least regulated your cycle again after some intense birth control therapy, and that doctor got you scheduled to meet with someone willing to do the surgery, but had to put you on a waiting list. Better than nothing.

Then you and Aster got to talking. He made you feel safe, and when you said that you are a transgender man and would prefer if he used the proper pronouns and your actual name and not your dead name (as he was introduced to that because of the shitty doctor not listening), he was extremely open to changing everything to accommodate you. After a few off the books checkups at his laboratory on the edge of Seattle to make sure you were okay, and some coffee dates later, you two started ...er, dating? It's not quite dating, but he's also not a Sugar Daddy. What's between a boyfriend and a Sugar Daddy?

"_______?" Aster mutters sweetly into your ear. You hum, looking up at him. "I can feel how deeply you're thinking. What's on your mind, Darling? Hm?" He pets your hair and searches your face for the answer.

"Oh. It's... nothing, Aster. Sorry." You blush and close your eyes, shrinking in a bit on yourself again.

"There's no need to be sorry, love. Is the medicine helping?" He rubs your legs and tries to get you to keep stretched out. You nod and try to relax again. He takes the water bottle away and replaces it with his hand to rub your belly. "I know this is torturous for you, sweetheart. I want to make it as easy for you as I can."

"Can you just rip it out now?" You joke morbidly, laying your hand over his.

He pauses, just long enough that you feel you should look up at him to see his reaction. Now he's thinking. "Actually...." That makes your stomach drop just a bit. You know he's a good doctor, but you don't know anything about him actually doing any sort of surgery. He sees your slight distress. "No, no, no," he reassures, "I couldn't do that right _now_. However, I could in fact employ one of my medical research teams to help me perform just that for you, if you really wanted. I didn't know you had thought about that, dear."

"N-No, wait, that's not what I-I meant. I was just k-kidding." Going into surgery sooner... you are definitely not mentally prepared for that. And is it even ethical for someone to do that? But then it really gets your juices flowing. You know that Aster is a very competent doctor, and you know that he has only top researchers on his teams.

Aster hums and the corner of his mouth tips down a bit. He seems disappointed as he presses his mouth to the top of your head to nuzzle you. "Ah, I'm sorry, _______. I know it is a big decision, choosing the right surgeons for that and where you want to go."

"N-No, it's not that it's just..." You squeeze his hand nervously. "...It's just... I didn't even really think about the possibility of you doing it? I didn't even know you were certified for that kind of thing?" You can feel his smile against your scalp.

"My dear, I've had to be certified for science, medicine, business and everything in between in order to produce the work we have at my laboratories. Not only myself, but also five other of my medical researchers are senior surgeons. We need to have people who understand Human and Monster bodies so when we go to clinical trials for what we make we can closely monitor everything." His voice goes from sad to proud, and it is starting to convince you that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to go to the labs for everything instead of the hospital. You hate hospitals anyway... He kisses your temple and rubs your belly again. "It's your choice ultimately, darling. I won't push you into a decision you won't be happy with."

You fall mentally silent for a few moments. It never really occurred to you that you had an option, really. But if his employees are as half as kind as he is to you, maybe it's worth looking into? Maybe someone he works with could help with your entire transition process, without any of the judgement you seem to keep getting from Human physicians? Granted, it's a research facility, but maybe they would do it because they could benefit from working with a trans Human? And then, you'd have the best "nurse" afterward, Aster. He's been nothing but comforting with this nasty period, and you're almost positive that he would continue that pattern. "I'll... uh, I'll think about it.... Thank you."

He kisses your head. "Take as long as you need, love. I am here for you."

You end up drifting off while you two cuddle on his massive bed, finally feeling a bit of relief.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You need some playtime, and Daddy is still in Work Mode. Will you get what you want and have Daddy join you, or will he focus too much on other stuff?

Aster calls down from the loft of his home 'office', which is literally just a slightly cozier version of an examination room. "____? It's time for your weekly shot, darling. Come here, let's get it out of the way."  
  
You hesitate, side-eyeing him from the couch in the living room below. Normally you fight with yourself for a long time to jab yourself with the needle. Sometimes you're late by days because you chicken out. But since you caved and moved in with Aster, after being absolutely exhausted from how work has been treating you, he's taken complete control of your medication schedule. You never miss a day of your antidepressants, or your shots, or any of your appointments with your therapist. You're on the dot every day, every week. And while that's great and all, you start to feel exhausted **for** Aster. He's constantly on high alert with you, which is the very opposite of what you expected. He wasn't high strung when you came to visit by any means, but now that you're living under his roof it's like he's concerned about your well-being every minute of every day.  
  
"_____, Please. You don't want to miss your dose, you know how you feel when you do," Aster persists.  
  
You sigh, put down the Playstation controller, and trudge up the wooden flight with heavy feet. You feel exhausted already. You had a long day of studying for a test coming up on coding, and you just wanted to relax for a bit before you got back to it. "Okay, alright... I'm coming," you grumble listlessly. Does that lich ever take a break?  
  
"I know, I know. The needle is always a bit daunting. The sooner we get that over with the better for you, love. Come, come," Aster soothes. He takes your hand gingerly and leads you into the room and immediately to the table in the corner. "Here, sweetheart, lay down. It will be quick."  
  
While you don't mind his doting, you wonder if he's worried you're going to punch him or something if he accidentally causes even a slight twinge of pain or freak out if you see the needle. (To be fair, your anxiety would spike, but you wouldn't flail on him like the first time). "Aster, we don't have to do this right now, you know. We can do it later. It sounds like you need a break, too."  
  
"No, no. I'm fine. We need to keep on schedule for your doses! Now close your eyes, I have your shirt, sweetie." You roll your eyes and close them, shaking your head. He's starting to get a little **too** obsessive, you think. He rubs a spot on your belly with an alcohol pad, waits a moment, and with ease pricks your skin. Boom. Over. "There we are, all done. See, not so bad," Aster quips.  
  
"You say that every time..." You sigh, eyes fluttering open to look at him. "Seriously, Aster. Maybe we should... I don't know. Do something fun together?"  
  
He seems distracted, eyeing his desk almost desperately. "Perhaps later tonight. Plenty of documentation I should sift through yet." He must be close to a breakthrough or something.

Clearly you're not getting through to him though. That breakthrough can wait for a little bit so he can actually rest like he's always telling you to. Ugh, why does he have to be so difficult? Fine. He wants to play Doctor, you can play too. ...First you have to think of a way to grasp his attention. You curl up on your side, groaning. "Ugh... maybe you were right, good thing I'm laying down. My belly hurts..."

That immediately gets him to notice. He is quick to turn back around to be at your side. "What's wrong, darling? Are you hungry?"  
  
You pathetically frown and shake your head. "I dunno. My... periods... are still pretty nasty. And now I never know when they're gonna start..." you whine. Yes, yes, ham it up you. Play into his Doctor Daddy complex.  
  
"Can you lay on your back again for me, sweetie? I can take a look. Maybe I hit a nerve without meaning to..."  
  
"I can try..." you whimper, slowly moving back to position. Aster starts pressing on your belly, looking for any sort of bruising or redness. You make little whines and sniffle a bit, really playing up the fact. "It feels worse there," When he presses into your pelvis.  
  
Aster tisks a little, rubbing instead of pressing now. "My poor, sweet boy. That hysterectomy isn't coming fast enough, is it?" He coos, frowning and shaking his head.  
  
You shake your head, blushing. "But... it feels nice when you rub there..." you hint a bit ham-handedly. Aster keeps it up for a few moments. He looks like he's deliberating. He gives you an unsure glance. You lay your hand over his, and beg with your eyes for him to stay with you.

He gets the message and his usual smile falls a bit. But he seems to have decided to play this little game, nonetheless. Aster's fingers press into your belly and massage your skin. "Does that hurt, darling?" You fake whine, and wiggle around a little. You're starting to feel hot in the pit of your stomach. Something about his bedside manner is a bit... sexy. Which is really weird when you think about it. Maybe it's just you who thinks that. But his touch, while soothing, is also heated with something... sensual. "Mm, that doesn't seem good. I may have to probe a little deeper." Aster lightens his touch and rubs his hand up your body, stopping to feel your heartbeat, which is currently thumping against your chest. You didn't really realize that maybe Aster's coddling was feeding into your personal attention kink. Seems the shoe is on the other foot now, because it is clear that was obvious to him. Who's the one being played here? "Heart rate feels... very irregular. My, my, you **are** ill, aren't you?" He tisks while he brings his hand to your cheek. "I suppose that's what happens when my sweet boy can't play enough. Isn't that right?" Aster is now dangling the bait right in front of you. You either have to admit you were trying to play him and hope he won't leave you hanging, or give up on trying to distract him and let him work, and you go back to playing Spyro Reignited.  
  
Playtime with Aster is a much more enticing carrot. Unfortunate for you, because that means you have to swallow what pride you do have and fess up to your game. You try to look away from him, blushing and trying too hard not to beg him while holding back embarrassed tears. He won't let you look away, though. He keeps a firm hold on your face with his cheek. Not enough to squeeze you even, but you know he won't let it go. Well, fuck. Rock and a hard place. "...Y-Yes, Daddy. I'm... Sorry for interrupting your work."  
  
"Oh no, you don't get to apologize, I'm afraid, love. You want me to play Doctor, I can. But you don't have to try to manipulate me for it." And there it is. You wince a little, still unable to move, and wait for him to lay into you about how important this breakthrough is, how it's rude to keep him from finishing his work after he was nice enough to help you with your medications.  
  
But he doesn't.  
  
Instead, he leans down and bestows upon your lips the sweetest of kisses, running the tips of his fingers over the side of your face to cradle your head in his hand. When he breaks the kiss, he looks into your eyes, his lavender iris boring right into your green ones. It's usually uncomfortable with making such prolonged, close eye contact... but with Aster it's like communicating telepathically. You can see he's far from mad. No, he looks sad. Which prompts you to ask the obvious. "You're not... mad at me?"  
  
"Of course not, ________. No, I'm upset, and frustrated, but not mad. What did I do to make you feel the need to manipulate me into spending time with me?"

Are you... having a civil conversation about a dick move you tried to pull on him? You guess so. And, looks like you are sort of pinned anyway, so might as well go with it. "Um... I-I..." You have to carefully clear your throat, your voice cracking a bit. "I just feel like... I just feel like I'm a live-in patient, sort of. And... you're always working, and I miss you, and you work so much and deal with my bullshit..." It starts flooding forward, all of the thoughts you've had in the past couple weeks especially with you having just moved in. Now that you're here, it's like you see even less of each other and it's a bit sad for you. You really like him, you just want to spend more time with him.  
  
And with your body going crazy with the testosterone injections, your libido is wayyyy up and it's driving you absolutely bananas.

Aster's eye sparks a little. There's the frustration he said he has. "Your 'bullshit' is not 'bullshit', love. I will tell you as many times as you need to hear it. I want to help you. I know it must be difficult to deal with needles and medications when you've said it again and again that you hate it all. I consider it part of my duty as your Daddy to make you as comfortable as possible while you adjust at least. But it is also my duty in our relationship to meet you halfway with its' entirety. There has been a lack of communication, on both our parts, it seems. So, let me clarify some things for you, __________." You wince a little, but again, you're stuck where you're at.  
  
Aster sighs closing his eyes for a moment to think clearly. He can't be frustrated. Your transgression is just as much your fault as it is his. He hasn't been open with you at all about it. "I am sorry that I have been burying myself in my work, and it's caused you to feel so lonely. That wasn't my intention. This particular subject I've been diving into is... actually regarding deeper research into transgender health. I just want to be sure I can give you the best care possible." He sounds like he's frustrated with it.  
  
His tone surprises you a bit. With his research facilities, you thought that they probably knew everything there was to know about the Human body by now. He just proved you wrong, and while that's a common thing to have happen, with this it's a bit of a shock. "Oh... Um... I know this sounds weird but.. that's actually not at all what I expected..."  
  
"Well, it's not like I share all the details of what my teams and I work on daily..." Aster admits. He glances over at his desk again, and sighs. Maybe he should take a quick break?  
  
You watch him, and though it makes you sad you understand a little. It's something important to him, and it's really nice that he's trying to learn as much as he can about Transgender care. "...You can get back to work, Aster. I won't bug you, I know you're doing a lot." He stops you while you try to slide off the table. "...Aster?" He has a thoughtful sparkle in his eye.  
  
"I still haven't taken care of that fever or your heart palpitations, or that mysterious 'pain' in your pelvis," he teases, his smile coming back as a cocky smirk. Break time is going to be a quick, fun, sexy roleplay, Aster's decided. You started it, anyway. He may as well finish it.  
  
Your face grows hotter again. Oh shit. In all the deep talk you almost forgot what you started. What in hell is he going to do? It's thrilling... and terrifying. He could just tease you with a little examination and send you on your way unsatisfied as punishment, or he could make you cum a billion times in a few minutes and leave you a mess on his table while he goes back to his work. Either way this is going to be a good, but also bad, time, you sense.  
  
"Will the patient please remove his trousers for the Doctor?" He bubbles in his more professional tone. You are on absolute **fire** right now. Does he know you have a packer in your pants? Hesitantly, you shimmy your 'trousers' off and reveal the boxer briefs you're currently wearing. Black, jersey cotton, Deadpool print. And a decently sized bulge behind the fly. "What have we here? It looks like your groin is swollen~" He gasps, walking around to the foot-end of the table. Your legs are dangling off the end. It's one of the few things in this house that actually makes your short ass feel normal-sized. You whimper. What's he going to say about it? You're pretty sure this is the first time he's seen you with it in. It's not even an erect packer, and regardless it's making you feel very revealed.

Aster gloves up like he's actually going to do one of his infamous 'thorough' exams and snaps the wrists a bit to tease you. He knows that sound makes you a bit squeamish. Not fair. Gently, he guides your knees apart so he can step even closer, and inspects the package. He squeezes the balls of it carefully. It makes you reflexively squeak. "My, my. That's much more firm than it should be! Have you been injured, young man?"  
  
"N-No, Doctor, I--"  
  
"Hush, you don't need to explain. It's good that I've discovered the source of your discomfort. Let me just examine a bit further before I decide your treatment." Oh gods, he's going to find out what the packer looks like and that makes you so anxious and embarrassed it makes your heart beat even harder. But Aster ignores your apparent embarrassment and continues this 'examination'. "If you would, my dear patient, please pull down your pants so I may have a better look?" Mechanically, like a rusty tin man in desperate need of an oil spritz, you slowly work your boxers down past your thighs to reveal a packer that has been strapped onto you properly. The straps are cutting into your skin, Aster notes. That would cause actual discomfort, surely. He files an idea in the back of his mind for a more appropriate time. For now...  
  
"Oh, my. Look at this, you're **purple** with how swollen you are! You poor boy. I'm just going to do one or two more things, alright? Don't worry, relief will come to you soon enough." Aster laces his fingers together and stretches his hands a bit. You bring your hands up to hide your face. Oh this is way worse than any actual punishment he'd dish out. Your worst fears, your favourite kinks, they're all being played with at the same time and it's confusing and exciting and terrible and fantastic. And he hasn't even done much of anything yet. This is why _you're_ the submissive one and _he's_ Daddy. You feel his hands on your ankles as he tugs your underwear off the rest of the way, and your feet touch something cold and metal. It makes you yelp and jerk a little. "I know, I know. It must hurt to move with how absolutely painful that is," he coos, rubbing your knee. "Just a bit more discomfort, I promise, and it will get better."  
  
You feel one of his hands grip the base of the flaccid silicone packer, just a bit tightly. His other hand slips under the balls, and his knuckle presses against your clit as he lines the tip of his finger up with the backside of the shaft. A cry slips from your lips. That was not at all what you expected. "Shh," Aster mutters soothingly. But soon, something shocking happens. Your groin feels warm. Then hot. What in hell is he doing? You squirm again, and you come to realize something. When you move, it feels like he's pulling on your cock, not a detached toy you strapped to your body. Your hands fall to your side, and you curl up to look. No, it definitely is still strapped to you. Your eyes look up to Aster, who's seemingly focused on your packer. His eye is glowing. "Lay back down, my little patient. We don't want you to lose that delicious illusion, do we now?"  
  
You comply, a bit more relaxed now with realizing that he's not trying to punish you after all. He slips his off-hand away from you and gives the toy a small tug. It makes you groan and quiver. Holy shit, that's really new. "Seems you're very sensitive, ______. I will do my best to not hurt you. But do tell me if I do at some point, alright?" You nod pathetically. At this rate you won't last long enough for him to hurt you anyway. He tugs again, and again, and then moves in soft, smooth strokes.  
  
You're already building to a messy climax. Your wildest dream is a reality, even if it's temporary for now. You have a penis, and your Daddy is going to use the hell out of this and you know it. You find your hips bucking with his strokes, desperate for more than just a simple hand job. Aster can see how needy you've become, and rolls his thumb over the head of your packer. You make a strained sound and grip the table's cushion, realizing that it's already way more than you can handle. You gasp for breath, trembling in the wave that was your orgasm. "Tsk, oh, look. You've made a bit of a mess!" Aster scolds, holding up the hand he was using to jerk you off. The blue nitrile is glistening with a white goo... Fucking hell this is one hell of a convincing illusion. Your brain can't even comprehend it fully, and you start to cry a little. You throw your arm over your eyes and moan, hiding your tears from him. It's all so overstimulating!  
  
"Shh, it's alright, sweet boy. Let it out. I know it must be so overwhelming for you," Aster reassures, removing his gloves and laying your legs back down so they dangle again. "But that felt so good, didn't it?" He walks around to the side again and holds his arm out for you, an invitation for a warm embrace.  
  
You nod lamely, curling your legs up into you and sitting up so you can hug onto Aster. "T-Thank you, Daddy." You sniffle and bury your face in his shoulder. He wraps both of his arms around you and kisses your head. "I'm sorry."  
  
"There's no reason to be sorry now, darling. If you find yourself frustrated, don't be afraid to tell me, alright? Communication is very important." His voice is gentle, but stern. Yeah, you probably deserved a lot worse, but you're so happy Aster is so merciful.  
  
It's almost sinful how merciful he is.  
  
"D-Daddy?"  
  
"Yes, _____?"  
  
"... Can we cuddle for a bit? Please?" You can feel him smiling against your hair.  
  
"Of course, darling. Let me help you put your pants back on."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh holy shitballs, Batman! I can't believe how the first story took off!! I'm so happy you all like it :>
> 
> Especially since I'm using this as a bit of a catharsis for my personal anxieties. BUT hey! I guess this is a win-win for all of us, eh? 
> 
> Thanks for reading this next installment!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a horrible, terrible, very bad, no good month. You just want to curl up in bed, cuddle with Daddy, and just forget about everything for a little while.

"No, I guess you wouldn't understand. Whatever, I gotta go. I have some shit to do for school. Talk later. Bye."   
  
You hang up your phone angrily and resist the instant urge to throw your phone on the floor to shatter it. Fuck that.   
  
Aster comes into the sitting area and sees you debating on the pros and cons of breaking it. He's clearly concerned more for you than the trinket in your hand, but he knows how much you like this particular model. It would be a shame to have to replace it with something newer. "What's wrong, love?"   
  
"It's my fucking mother! UGH. I'm so fucking sick of her goddamned backwards conservatism! Fucking christ I just want to pound her wrinkly face in!" You motion to bounce your phone off the floor and Aster catches your wrist before you do something you regret.

"Easy there, darling. Deep breaths, alright?" He eases your arm down and pulls you in for a hug. "Now, would you like to talk about this?"

You grumble and hug him back, fighting back a torrent of tears and flailing. "Not really." He nods, squeezing you again and giving you a kiss on the head. You hug him again, and growl. "But honestly this is getting so fucking old. I don't know how to get through to her at all. She's done so much crappy stuff to me over the years and this just takes the fucking cake. I don't even know why I call her anymore."   
  
"What happened, ______?" Aster pulls you to cuddle on the couch while you vent.   
  
"Ugh, I tried to explain to her all sorts of shit about my transition, and you helping me, and venting to her about how hard it is to just correct people when they get it wrong, and I just get so fucking tired because she just doesn't. Get. It."   
  
"What does she need to 'get', darling?" Your Daddy is listening intently. This has happened before, but with everything else that has happened in these three weeks it seems that this is just the straw that broke the camel's back. He's rubbing your back, gently holding you to his body to try to calm you while you explain.   
  
"She needs to get that it's not simple for me to be out in public anymore. I'm constantly worried about having to talk to people and correct them and then worry if they react badly or if they continue to misgender me and purposely make me feel more like garbage than I already do. She's trying to get me to come visit her and Dad down south but it's so fucking scary flying when your ID says one thing and people think another. There's news articles about TSA detaining transgender people and not being released until they show their genitals and I would rather not risk that I already hate my body enough. She fucking told me just not to tell people I'm transgender, but like I _can't_ hide that if I correct them!! And all the while my brain is screaming at me to not care and just correct people anyway and asking myself just why the fuck would I hide myself since I've been living a lie for most of my fucking life!" You feel it coming. The swell of tears is on the verge of being let loose. You bury your face in Aster's chest and hug him as tightly as possible.   
  
"That must be so difficult, darling. I am sorry that all of this has bombarded you all at once," Aster mutters soothingly, petting the back of your head. "I think... if you don't mind... that perhaps we should unplug for a little while." He takes your phone from your hand and powers it down before porting it away from you. "These past few weeks have been getting to you, love, and I think maybe a little alone time with Daddy might do some good for you." He gives your head another little peck.

You think about it. You've been glued to your phone since you discovered that your identity was stolen and used in a scam. Your friends have been posting a crap ton of articles about violence toward the trans community. Your fucking car broke down _again_ and you had to ask Aster to help you out because you quit your job and don't have enough in your savings at the moment to cover expenses like that. Then the bank won't change your name because you still don't have a new ID because you haven't had the time to do anything else but the aforementioned shit recently. "...Y-yeah... maybe that's a good idea... I'm sorry, Aster."   
  
"Hush, now. You've no reason to apologise. It's been a hard few weeks, and you've had no time to just unwind and be your sweet, creative self. Now. Would you care to help me make something for us to eat?"   
  
You look up at him. How is he so good at calming you down? "Sure... Uh. Do you have anything in mind?"   
  
"Mm, I was thinking about preparing a campfire for some chili. How does that sound?"

Mmmmmmmm. Aster's campfire chili. "Can we have cornbread?" You become a little more hopeful. The worry is already starting to fade away with the promise of really excellent food.   
  
Aster gives you a gap-toothed grin. "Of course. I wouldn't want it any other way!" With a gentle kiss, he gives you one more squeeze before standing and setting you on your feet. "Let's crack on, then! Much to do before the sun sets!" You're dragged to the kitchen, where the base ingredients are already laid out for you to look over. This is going to be goooooood.

You set up to chop up peppers, chilies, and onions for Aster's ultimate chili while he mixes together some sweet corn bread to go with it. You take your anger out on the veggies and chop them all up very fine. Thankfully it will cook down into a perfect stew regardless. And, by the time everything is diced up, you're already feeling worlds better. Aster puts on some tunes, quizzes you on the stuff you learned in school this semester (he's very keen on keeping you sharp with reviews), and preps the cast iron pot for the fire.   
  
Aster knows just how to keep you from getting eaten alive by your own brain. And you love that about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, I know this one is shorter than the others. I might expand it later, but I wanted to get a little drabble out at the end of the month again. It's been a hell of a few weeks and I have not been motivated much at all thanks to life getting in the way. I hope you all enjoyed this little sliver of life with Aster!


	4. Don't Call Me Ma'am, Ma'am.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So despite all the confidence Daddy is instilling in you, you still have moments where things just prove to be too fucking much.

It's errand day, and you need to do some things in town for the week. You groan and huff and grumble, but you get dressed eventually. Binder, boxers, packer, layers and layers of clothes to hide your not-flat chest (despite said binder). Keys, wallet, phone, and the check that your friend sent you to pay you back for the loan you gave them. No big deal, really. Fifty bucks isn't much anymore considering you're practically flush thanks to Aster. But, that fifty will go toward paying down your credit card you let get away from you, dumbass. Again, oh well. You make sure Princess, Aster's cat, is fed, and then you lock up before you head out to your car. Pretty standard day today. It's not too hot, not too cold. Decent Autumn weather. What's not standard is your new ride, also courtesy of Aster. A 2020 Hyundai Sante Fe, with a cool blue-black paint job with silvery metal fleck. Makes it look super spacy. Especially with the pretty gunmetal grey leather interior. You insisted to him it was too much, but your Daddy wanted you to have a reliable ride to school and of course, he had to make it something brand freakin' new.

 

The trip into the city is standard as well, considering that you decided to leave at lunch rush hour. You make it to the bank around one, so it's not entirely crowded. But it still had a decent line. You sigh, disgruntled, but you decide to wait in the queue anyway. Not like you have anything better to do today. You decide to check your phone while waiting.   
  
Aster texted you.   
  
>I hope you have a good day, love! I may be working a bit late tonight, but I was perhaps thinking we could have supper at the little restaurant you like on the other side of the mountain?

 

You think about it, look at the time, and shrug. That sounds fine. But you feel a bit bad. You and he just had that the other day. He must not feel like having either of us cook this week, ha.

 

<<Thank you, I hope you do too! Sure, that's fine, hon. Let me know when you're about to get off so I can get ready. I'm out doing some errands right now. This line is so long! UGH

 

There's a little pause, but Aster responds rather quickly. Huh, he must be stuck in a meeting with someone, or on his way to another part of the lab.

 

>Aw, you are much more patient than some of the people I've been speaking with today! LOL

 

You smile. Yep, you were right. Meetings today. That explains why he's working late.

 

<<That sucks. I hope they can just shove it! You're working as hard as you can, they need to give you a break!

 

You're next in line. Awesome. Time flies when you're texting your Daddy.

 

<<Hey, I'll ttyl, Aster. I'm next in line! See you tonight! XOXO Love you, Daddy! ;) <3

 

>I love you, too, My Sweet Boy. XOXO <3 (;

 

You smile and pocket your phone, then smile at the teller that's just opening up. They look younger, and frustrated that the bank is so busy.

 

"I can help you over here, Ma'am." She says, waving directly at you.

 

You stop cold before you even get up there. Frozen in place, you feel your self-loathing and dysphoria peeking its ugly head from the back of your mind. You swallow very hard, enough for it to physically hurt, and mechanically shuffle up to the teller. You hand her your ID, and the check after you sign it. She asks if you want to deposit it into your checking, tagging her statement with "Ma'am" again. You nod stiffly, pursing your lips. You fight every nerve to just snatch everything back and run. You feel the tears stabbing your eyeballs, your heart pounding, your hate welling up in your fat belly. Your brain blames your round soft baby face, your Triple-D tits, the fact you have very wide hips even though you've done your very best to hide it all. And you start feeling yourself curling in just a bit. You tuck your arms into your body a bit until the transaction is over. She says "Ma'am" again to get your attention when you are forced to let yourself go to sign the slip, and she gives you your ID back, and your receipt. You rush out of the building to the car as she says "Have a good day, Ma'am." You just want to _scream_.

You realize as you throw yourself into your vehicle and slam the door that you were holding your breath. With shaky hands and trembling breath, you grab your phone and text Aster in a rush. You hope that what you type is right, you can barely see with how misty your eyes are. Awful.

 

<<Daddy I think I need to stay home today.

 

You send that off before you lean onto the steering wheel and bawl your eyes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a short chapter. September got away from me and kicked me in the proverbial nuts. Lost my job, lookin' for a new one, trying to get back into art... It's wild. 
> 
> Anyway. Thanks for reading, I hope to be a bit better next month at least.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're coming along grandly with your transition. Your excitement can't be contained.

You walk out of the bathroom into the bedroom, fresh out of the shower, wrapped in a towel and newly shaved face smiling. Aster is lounging in bed reading a book when he notices you grinning so brightly. He hasn’t seen you this excited in a bit, and it immediately piques his interest. He takes his glasses off and puts his book down on the night stand, giggling a little while you pause at the foot of the bed. “What are you smiling about, darling?” He bubbles, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his legs. You giggle more and snort a little, feeling excited and mischievous and for once, not feeling too self-conscious about your body. You’re trying to find the right way to come out and say it, because you know it might sound silly despite it being too exciting to hold in. “What is it?” Aster presses with another laugh, watching you rock back and forth as you’re wrapped in the oversized bath sheet.  
  


You can’t take it anymore! You curl in on yourself, and in a dramatic fashion (much like “grandmama, it’s me, **Anastasia!** ”), you fling the bath towel off and cry out in so much happiness your voice cracks, “I HAVE CHEST HAIR!” You can’t stop laughing with how silly and happy you feel at the same time. All of the research you did before you started taking testosterone concluded it wouldn’t even start until probably closer to six months, but it’s only been three and **you are so excited**! Your voice has dropped considerably already, so having chest hair paired with that is definitely doing something for you!   
  


Aster blinks for just a moment, as he has to process the almost-incoherent exclamation you’ve made while being distracted by your excited wiggling and broken squealing.  W hen he does,  though, he nearly leaps too far off the bed when he launches himself to the foot to get closer to you. “ Oh, ______! That’s wonderful, darling! Absolutely astounding!” He grabs you while you continue to dance around in place and snatches you into a warm, congratulatory embrace. Aster giggles with you, you squeeze as much of your arms around him as possible, and he bestows happy little kisses all over your smooth, dewy face. The kisses make you blush as you snort and hug him back. “My sweet Little Boy is growing up so fast, I’m so proud of you, ______!”    
  


You nuzzle into him, finally beginning to settle down and revel in Aster’s gentle, snuggly embrace. “Thank you, Daddy!” You sigh sweetly, returning his kisses with some of your own. You relax a bit into his hug when he starts rubbing your back and kissing your head. “I’m so happy…. I didn’t expect this to really start for a while yet.” You knead at his soft, squishy frame and nuzzle into his chest.

 

“I know, and look how you’re blossoming! You’re a lovely young man and it’s so wonderful that the changes are surprising you as quickly as they are! I’m so happy for you, darling.” Aster gives you another kiss, this one on the lips. He pulls you into his lap, scooting back into the bed a bit more so you two can cuddle. Aster has you in a tight hug, holding you to his body in his strong arms. You return the kiss, your lips pressing together warmly… The heat of his frame feels good against the chill from the air on your nude skin.   
  
  
Oh, right, you’re nude.  
  


You squirm a little and sigh, feeling a bit embarrassed now as you back off kissing him. Aster holds you even more tightly. “Now, now. What’s wrong, love? Hm?”    
  


“I’m… I’m naked.”   
  


He looks down at you with a saucy smirk. “That you are.” Aster leans down and kisses you again. And again. A bit lower, to your jaw. And your neck. He hums against your skin. “I quite like the shaving cream you are using, ______. It’s a very sweet scent, one that compliments your own very nicely.” One of Aster’s hands rub your back. The other one rubs up and down your thigh. It makes you shudder a little. But… not necessarily in a bad way. When was the last time you were this comfortable being naked in front of someone? Probably never, really.   
  
  
That confounds you. You know you have smells about you, that’s just what a Human has, but you’ve never really heard it called a ‘scent’ before.  “I have a… scent?”   
  
  
“Mm, yes. Something I’m not sure I can quite describe. But there’s something sexy about it.” You relax into his arms a bit, allowing him to take on more of your weight. But you startle when you feel a distinct bulge in Aster’s pajama pants, and scramble to pull yourself off of it. “What’s wrong, _____?”   
  
  
You blush, hiding your face in his shoulder now. You two have had a little fun, but nothing where it involved you entirely naked yet. In fact, the last time you and he had done anything more than clothes-on play was two months ago, when he finally asked you to drop trow in that hot little roleplay in his office… You shudder again. That was hot, and confusing and a bit scary but you also really,  **really** enjoyed that. But now you’re entirely naked in front of him. Of course, it was your own volition, but at the time you were just so excited you could have cared less. Now that you’re right here, in his arms, buck naked, you’re starting to feel shy and embarrassed and you’re not quite sure how to handle this.   
  
  
Aster knows exactly what you’re thinking. He sees the awkwardness, the embarrassment, and it makes him want to help you relax again. There’s no reason to be embarrassed with him, in his eyes. Daddy twists his sitting position and lays you out on the bed, exposing your naked frame to the cold air again and forcing you to want to curl up and cover up your not-so-private parts. Aster stops you though, with a gentle guiding hand and a stern expression. “Lay here, just like you are, darling.” You fear he’s going to cage you under him, so you whimper and still try to curl in on yourself. He stops you again and does not let go of your hands. “Shh, ______. I want you to look at me, alright?” Reluctantly, you do so. You watch him slip up to lay on his side next to you, his free hand tracing up your thigh and avoiding between your legs, for now. His warm palm slides up your chubby belly and rubs in a few gentle circles as his gaze rests on your face. Your eyelids flutter. That feels strangely good, and you can’t help but take a deep breath in. Your arms seem to relax, and it appears your body is even telling you to just trust him already. He knows what he’s doing, and he would never take advantage of you in any way you would absolutely hate.   
  
  
“Aster…  I...” You want to apologize. You’re not sure why, but you feel like you’ve overstepped something. Clearly he does not see it that way, and shushes you with a finger to your lips.   
  
  
“Hush, now. Keep watching me.” He turns just enough as his hand rubbing your belly now travels up further, between your breasts, to rest on your breastbone for a moment. You watch him intently, as he instructs. Your breathing slows. Oh. Was it fast? You realize your hands were kneading the sheets nervously when they smooth out over the covers as Aster does his thing. His hand creeps up to trace your collarbone, over your shoulder, rubbing up to your neck, then back down to rub your arm soothingly. “There. That’s better.” Huh. You didn’t realize you were **that** tense. Fuck’s sake. Aster leans down to kiss you on the mouth. You return the favor. His tongue swipes against your lips softly,  and he takes your hand in his to guide it to his shoulder. He wants you to touch him, clearly.    
  


So you do. You explore his body with your hand designated to it. He’s soft, and hard, and smooth. And a little squidgy, and warm—no hot. Cozy, like a fireplace in a winter storm. You realize this is the first you’re getting to actually explore him as well. He has folds of fat, much like you. It makes you feel a little less self-conscious. You’re sure he gets the self-image issues, with how he’s treating you.   
  
How he’s treating you… He’s kissing you with tongue now. Hand rubbing all over your body, around to your back, tracing your lower spine with his fingers. He’s humming with curiosity as his hand creeps to your ass to squeeze it. You squeal through the kiss, and you find your fingers clawing on his back and scratching with your shock. “Mmf! I’m sorry!” You squeak against his lips.   
  
“Shh.” He hushes you again, this time with reassurance. “You didn’t hurt me. It’s quite alright to scratch me a little.” He squeezes your ass again and makes you eek a little once more.   
  


“D...Daddy...” you moan pathetically, clawing into his skin just lightly. You’re feeling your nerves well up again. Are you really ready to do something like this? It feels like it’s just progressing that way, without you meaning to. Of course, there is a level of trust you’ve had with Aster more than you’ve ever had with anyone else. Everything here just feels so good, so intense!  
  
  
Aster chuckles and breaks the kiss, continuing to rub down your thigh playfully. Using his lips, he makes you tip your chin up so he can get at your neck to kiss down your throat and over your collarbone. You’re panting lightly, you realize. This is actually much, much better than you anticipated. His hand dares to rub your inner thigh now. You can’t help but spread your legs for him just a little. This is making you feel a little hot. “Patience, darling. I’d hate to rush you into something so soon,” he implores against your neck, tracing his lips down to your sternum. He nuzzles your chest lovingly. He finds one of your chest hairs you were talking about and kisses over the little cluster of dark hairs. You feel your body heating up and turning red. Aster chuckles, slowly moving down to kiss and nuzzle your body. His hand is still rubbing your inner thigh. The other arm supporting him sneaks under your arm and body to stroke your spine.  
  


You’re feeling a bit helpless. With only one arm able to really reach to him, it almost feels useless to continue to knead him. But you do your best and touch as much of his head and shoulder as you can reach as he descends on you. He nuzzles just above your belly button and sighs, resting there for just a few moments. “My sweet little boy is growing up quickly to be a handsome little cub, isn’t he now?” Aster teases sweetly, kissing over the hair of your ‘happy trail’. It makes you squeal again, and your body tenses. He’s getting awfully close to your nethers with both his hand and his face… You give him a nervous glace. “Now, now. Daddy isn’t going to do anything his sweet boy won’t like. If you don’t want me to go any further, I won’t.”   
  
  
Part of you wants him to continue to lavish your body in his barrage of kisses and touches. It feels so nice! But, it’s also a bit nerve-racking. You take a deep breath, and close your eyes. As nice as this feels, seeing him so close to something that still gives you some considerable frustration is daunting. He’s touched you there before, but… to have his face there? “No—No lower, please, D-Daddy.” You whimper, worried that he’s going to be disappointed.    
  


But he seems far from that. He backs his hand away from your inner thigh, kisses up your belly to nuzzle there for a bit, and adjusts so he can pull you into him to spoon for a while under the covers. “I’m proud of you, _____.” He croons sincerely, kissing your jaw and hugging you closely as he tucks the blankets in around you both.    
  


Whether he’s proud of you for speaking up for what you’re comfortable with or the fact that you are progressing along so nicely with your transition remains to be determined, but what you  **do** know is that he means it. And that means the world to you. “Thank you, Daddy,” you mutter softly, snuggling into him and holding his arms around your body tightly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No sexy times this time folx! Can't promise sexy times sadly. I have to be in the right mood to write that unfortunately. Maybe another time!


	6. The Brain is a Carousel From Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna go out and say it... Suicidal ideation and Self-Harm are strong in this installment. Read at your own risk.

The stress is eating at you. Panic is setting in. You’ve not eaten all day. Hardly drank a drop of water. You hadn’t taken your meds in a couple days. With Aster pulling doubles he hasn’t been there to remind you in person, just via text and you skip doses because you just don’t feel the motivation to continue. You’ve been told by the doctor you are going with for your top surgery that you have to wait to follow the guidelines for your insurance. You haven’t told Aster yet. You worry that yet again he’ll offer to just pay everything out of pocket. He’s done much too much for you already. Helping you with school. Getting you a new car. Setting you up with one of the surgeons that makes rounds at the labs. Making sure you’re housed, fed, clothed, medicated. You know you’re lucky. But that doesn’t make it any better. You feel like a fucking burden.

  
It’s all too much. You’re realizing that you’re completely dependent on him. **And you’re feeling like garbage for it**.

 

Yeah, Aster wants to be your Sugar Daddy. But you want to be more to him than a Sugar Baby. And it’s killing you inside. Scaring you. You feel like you’re using him. He insists he does everything for you because he cares. He **likes** it. But do you? Do you really feel good about relying on him so heavily to survive? And what happens if you reveal that you want more than just being a live-in Sugar Baby? Will he find that idea absurd, write it off? Will it make him want to separate with you?

  
  
Your mind goes on, and on with a carousel of worries, fears, things that won’t probably happen, or might, or can, and will, or should and--

 

It’s making your skin crawl. Your arms feel so itchy from the stress you scratch. You scratch and scratch and it’s not helping your head it’s just making you more worried.

 

Useless. Lazy. A bum. Fat, lazy bum. Fat lazy, bum who burdens those around you. You don’t work, you laze around and play video games or draw or play with clay all day. You sit in front of the computer and instead of studying you just watch videos of people doing mildly entertaining things like poorly edited Let’s Plays or random cat videos. You don’t deserve all of this. You’re just a fat, lazy blob who siphons off of a poor sucker you tricked into thinking you’re worth it.   
  
Your arm is starting to sting from how much you’re scratching. How deep your nails are cutting. But you don’t care. It’s still itchy and it’s driving you mad. Your whole frame feels like it’s crawling with all of your misdeeds. How awful of a person you are to use someone amazing like Aster. You can’t even keep a job and he’s working double shifts and still managing to find time for a loser like you.

 

There’s an x-acto knife on your work desk. You left it out from your latest sculpting project. It’s still got pieces of clay on it. But it’s still enticing you to cut through those creepy crawlies so you can feel something besides your physical anxiety.

 

No. You can’t. If you do something. Aster will see it. It will give him more of a reason to leave you. Or give you attention you don’t deserve and it’ll make you feel even worse. You don’t deserve these kindnesses. You want to just run off into the woods and maybe not be found again. But you’re so **tired.** Your head is spinning. It feels like you’re skydiving into a sarlacc pit. Right into it. You need to feel something tangible because even as you’re sitting here you feel helpless, useless, and nothing—no breathing exercises, no music, no amount of hypnosis—is helping you calm your ugly, fat tits. You’re a burden to him. Financially, socially, mentally, physically. You need all these things, but do you really need them? And you can’t seem to make yourself put out for him much at all. He’s probably getting sick of waiting for you to make up your mind. He’s constantly on high alert with you. Maybe he’s struggling with using the right pronouns for you? Or maybe it’s tiring him out to worry about having a trans partner, if you can even call yourself that. What makes you deserve being able to even change your body, or even have food, or water, or somewhere to sleep? You’ve done nothing for it. Nothing. Hell, maybe you’re faking the whole thing? You start digging into your arm with a blink.   
  


The back of the x-acto blade just barely breaks the skin. Oh, you can feel it. You do it again. Yes finally. A fitting feeling for how you are thinking. Your thoughts feel tangible. Fuck’s sake. You slice again. Again. Again. **Again** . Red lines pucker on the underside of your arm. Weeping droplets of blood. You cry. It’s painful, but it’s something you can make sense of. You can’t make sense of what’s in your head. You get angry at yourself. Why can’t your thoughts be like this? Simple, easy to see, easy to understand . Real. You can see that this is punishing yourself. But you can’t stop. You’re not allowed to have those thoughts, the ones that make you panic, the ones that make you doubt everything in your surroundings, and the people who are in your life.   
  


You cry. You sob and bawl and slice again and again at your arm with the back and tip of the knife in your hand. It’s painful. It stings. It burns. It bleeds. You’re so fed up. You don’t deserve any of this nice shit. You don’t deserve everything Aster has done for you. What have you done for any of it, huh? You’ve never worked hard, have you? You don’t work hard like Aster! You dig a little deeper. Harder. You growl at yourself. How dare you feel anything? You don’t even deserve to feel! The hand wielding the blade moves to your wrist as tears cloud your vision. You need to drain this shit out of your system. It’s too much. All of it’s too much!  
  
  
“ That’s quite enough of that,” a familiar voice says gently from behind you, taking your wrists into large, warm hands. You startle with being snapped out of your head for just a moment, resisting and trying to pull away from Aster.   
  


“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” You whimper, still sobbing hysterically and resisting his hold.   
  


“Shhh,” Aster soothes, still keeping a firm hold on you while a tentacle takes the blade from you to toss it in the trash. He pulls you to him, careful to not move your wounded arm, to hug you tightly. The Monster gives you a little nuzzle on the top of your head before commanding the tentacle to hold your arm out while he scoops you up, face buried in his chest. You bawl your eyes out. You’re embarrassed, you feel so low, even more undeserving. You feel him walking out of your little office toward his, and you try to push away. No, you don’t deserve this! You don’t deserve any more help from him! You’ve been bad, awful, horrible, needy, lazy… “That’s enough, _________.” He insists gently. He seems so calm.. It scares you. How long had he been watching you? He pets your hair before laying you out on the table and pinning you there with a few more tentacles. You whimper and whine, still crying but unable to vocalize much now except for the occasional ‘I’m sorry’.   
  


“I just got home and assumed you had taken a nap until I heard you crying,” Aster explains, softly petting your hair. You resist the hold his tendrils have on you. They tighten just a bit out of reflex. “I want to fix your arm up a bit, alright? That blade was quite dirty.” He doesn’t seem mad at you in the slightest. It makes you cry harder again. You want to hide your face in shame. You don’t deserve any of this. “Kindness isn’t a commodity, darling,” Aster quips, pulling out some first aid stuff from drawers. He looks at you with a solemn, yet gentle eye, “And neither is love.” He pulls up a seat and starts spreading antiseptic over the cuts delicately. What’s that supposed to mean? “It means, sweetheart, that everyone deserves love and affection. It’s not something that is bought, or bartered for. True kindnesses are unconditional, and my love for you is as such, as it always will be.”  
  
You try so hard to retort with that but… you’re coming up empty. You know that. You know that about him. He’s nice to everyone. You’re not special. “You’re special to me.” He smiles, just a little. He knows he’s right. All you can do in your very vulnerable state now is sniffle and blush and stay still. A tendril pats your tears dry and wipes your nose with a tissue. You feel stupid and embarrassed for letting your brain get the better of you and letting yourself fall back on your old ways and habits and mindset. You feel yourself again becoming the burden you knew you were to him…   
  


“You’re not stupid, and you’re certainly no burden on me. Just afraid. It’s okay to be afraid.” That.. is weird. Why would he say you’re afraid? This isn’t fear. You’re being a selfish brat. “Not a brat, either,” he interjects, patting the deeper wounds with slightly more antiseptic. “You’re afraid of being hurt again, darling. I know it’s hard for you. You can’t trust anyone, and I cannot blame you in the slightest given your past. Your fear is procuring your old anxieties, and you’re turning to your old ways of dealing with them.” He puts the swabs down and switches to a salve that burns a little bit. You wince and sniffle through it. You deserve the discomfort that this brings, that you are certain of. A tentacle curls up to nuzzle your cheek gently while Aster continues. A silent way of Aster disagreeing with your thoughts again. He shushes you again.  
  


“...I know we’ve been becoming more and more intense these past few months. It’s scary, especially with all of these changes happening all at once for you. Your new vehicle, starting school again, beginning the process to physically transition… even finding out more about yourself. All of those are not small things, ______, and I’m aware that it’s a daunting task to manage all of these alone. You’re not lazy, you’re not stupid, and you’re certainly not a bum. The mishaps that are coming up in your life are just hiccups, darling. Ones that I’m willing to help you through, if you will allow me.” He finishes up with a light wrapping to keep the salve soaking over your self-inflicted injuries. The salve no longer burns, it just feels warm now. The sensation creeps up your arm a little, slowly eating away at the crawling feeling from your anxiety. You sniffle, and stop resisting the tendrils. They let go, allowing your limbs to go free now. Aster reaches up to pet your hair.

 

You lay your hand over his wrist and look up at him pathetically. “I’m… I’m sorry, Aster I should’ve...Should’ve talked with you sooner...”

 

“You can always talk to me about anything, darling. If you find yourself feeling this way when I’m away, you can always call, or text me.” He takes your hand and kisses the back of it gently. “I know we have much to discuss… How about we cuddle and have a long heart-to-heart, hm? Perhaps we can ease some of your anxieties…” He reaches over to his desk. “But first...” He opens your palm and puts a pill in it. “Take your medicine, _____. I know you’ve been missing doses.”

 

You nod, blushing and bowing your head a little as you sit up slowly. That’s probably a good idea... It’s probably a big contributor to your mood of late. You’re handed a glass of water and you down the pill. You resist saying sorry again as Aster scoops you up again and kisses your forehead. “It’s alright, you don’t need to apologize. Let’s get comfortable, alright?”

He takes you back to the bedroom and dims the lights, snuggling into the soft mattress and pillows with you before letting you speak when you’re ready.


	7. The Long Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At LONG last, you've found the perfect opportunity to have your very real first time with Aster! If ONLY your timing wasn't so off...

Tonight is the night. You’re scared. But….You’re also so **excited!** You planned everything. EVERYTHING. Down to the underwear you’re going to wear. Aster is supposed to be gone all day, so it gives you the opportunity to gain the proverbial balls to actually go through with this elaborate plan in your head. This is going to be the best ‘Gyftmas’ Aster has ever had. Albeit, you’re doing this early because you know he plans on having Sans and Papyrus over for a family meal Gyftmas night. But you want him to have the one thing the Monster with everything doesn’t have. Not because you feel obligated to. But because you **want** to. And holy fuck do you want to. 

So. You get dressed for the day in something comfortable. You  need to run some errands. It took you a whole month to plan for this, as you had to be careful,  so everything  **must** be perfect.  You’re very aware that Aster can read thoughts, and with you he seems to do it quite a bit. When you’re holding hands, he’ll a nswer you if a random rhetorical question rolls through your mildly random mind. It’s almost on reflex, it seems. You wonder if your mind’s voice is really the same as your spoken voice to him… but  you only wonder for  just for a moment. You nearly run a stop sign on the way to the candy store downtown,  having to pull over to stop yourself from having a mini panic attack from how sudden the blaring horns stopped you. Yeah, good going, genius. You nearly ruined the most perfect Gyftmas gift you’d ever given… 

The candy store is a brick building wedged tightly against newer buildings downtown. You find a parking spot, and head inside. This was probably the easiest part of the plan. Aster absolutely loves food, especially sweets. Not that he’s unhealthy about it by any means, but he really values good food.  You’re extra careful as you pick out exactly the chocolates that you know Aster obsesses over, and have the store put them in one of their ornamental red tins boxes with gilded cups for the candies. Caramels, smooth melty fondant centers, even some brandy-soaked cherries coated in dark chocolate… It’s so pretty, it’s almost awful with h ow you plan t o use them. You try your best to swallow down the panic when the price for the candy is nearly a hundred dollars. It’s hard, but you remind yourself that this is just chump change from the ‘allowance’ Aster gives you monthly. Swallowing your pride, and your nerves, you accept the box from the cashier with an anxious smile, shaky hands, and a meek “Thank you.”  The walk back to the car is stiff and awkward as you are gingerly trying to hold the box to keep it from melting in your hot hands. 

On your way again, you nestle the chocolate in the passenger’s seat and hide it with your coat to keep prying eyes from wanting to smash in your window for the expensive chocolate. This next stop is one that makes your heart pound. You had ordered  a few things  from a lingerie boutique  Aster  mentioned to you, regarding what you were currently using to strap on your packer.  _ “They’ll surely have something much more comfortable for you to utilize instead of that awful, sharp pleather,” _ he said. So, you stopped by after he mentioned it about a month or two ago, and perused their wares. You do like their materials much better than that ‘one-size’ strap on contraption. It doesn’t feel like it’s cutting into your poor thighs, at least. But this time, you’re going there for something  **different** you ordered from their catalog~ Well, a few things, anyway. The girl at the counter is very nice to you when you explain to her that you have something waiting for you in the back. She asks for your name and brings out a neatly wrapped gift box with a red bow on it. It didn’t come like that. You blush as you accept the package. She explains that the girls are so happy for you and Aster they wanted to throw in some things for you both, so they just made it like a little early Christmas thing. Your blush flares even brighter, but you graciously accept the generous gifts. You’re not sure what all they threw in with the things you ordered, but you’re not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.   
With that, you check your phone when you get into the car, carefully placing the box next to the chocolates and buckling in. Aster didn’t respond to your texts from this morning. It must be a really busy day at the labs with the holiday literally just a week away. Even though the  other scientists are on shut down vacation, he and Sans have been working still, trying to get paperwork done and tying loose ends up before the new quarter begins…. Hopefully he won’t be running late. You were hoping that he would at least tell you a roughly estimated time of his arrival back home. Well, worse comes to worse, you rush around to stage everything when you see him pull into the garage. It usually takes him a few minutes to get inside and get comfortable  anyway.

A fter putting your phone away, you make one more stop to get  some  fresh oysters and octopus to slice for hors d’oeuvres…  Your mind drifts to one night you and Aster went out to eat. The chef prepared some complementary oysters on the half shell for you two (you’re sensing a pattern here, it seems people had taken note of Aster’s loneliness at some point), and Aster was very pleased when feeding you one and you drank it down without gagging. Truth be told, you love seafood and oysters are no exception. But what you love more than most other kinds is octopus. Which, coincidentally, is what your lover’s tentacles happen to resemble. When your octopus sashimi was served to you, the suckers still defined in each slice,  you remember how quickly the purple blush blanketed his face. He was positively glowing and you teased him by taking your time with each slice you ate, slowly laying it on your tongue and curling it into your mouth and chewing as slow as possible. He had to excuse himself for a few moments to gather his composure in the restaurant. And you couldn’t stop laughing.   
Just like now, you’re giggling the more you think about his panicked (and slightly aroused) expression, even as you enter the fish market to get the prepared tray you called ahead for this morning. It’s almost as pretty as the box of chocolates, only this is simply a silvery plastic tray with a clear plastic cover that’s been chilled with ice.   
Payment out of the way, you now head back home to hurry and get everything staged properly to your plan.  Your phone rings. It’s Aster. You jump a little, startled that he’s calling you instead of just texting. You wonder what he’s doing. “Hey Aster, what’s up?” Yeah, play it cool, dude. That’s not suspicious, yeah?

“Hello, darling. I was just wondering where you were! I made it home early, today. Sans and I finished our end of quarter paperwork so I wanted to surprise you.”   
Fuck. Fucking fuck fuck it all. You resist cursing aloud though. “O-Oh! I ah. I had some errands to run this afternoon. I wanted to… to talk to my advisor before spring semester started. Needed to clear up some confusion that I had with some of the classes I signed up for.”   
“Ah, I see. Are you on your way back, love? I was thinking perhaps we could go Gyftmas shopping later today and treat ourselves to some bubble tea!” He sounds so excited to spend time with you… You almost want to just tell him.   
“A-Actually...” you eye the stuff you **just** got for what you had planned tonight with him. Damn it all to hell and back. “Um, I. I actually had plans tonight.” Fuck shit hell, that was the wrong way to say that.   
There’s a slight beat of what you can guess is disappointment. But that could just be you being a nervous wreck at the moment. “Oh. That’s alright, ________. Perhaps I can entice Papyrus to go shopping with me, then. I do have a few things I wanted to get for you, after all!” 

You blush, tears pricking your eyes. This deviation is stressing you out. This is what you get for trying to plan a surprise for the Monster Who Has Everything. “U-Uh...”   
“_______? You sound upset, what’s wrong darling?” Aster coos over the phone.   
“Uhm. Uhm, n-nothing I...” You sniff. “I just thought I had to sneeze. Uhm...” Your brain is turning. Maybe Papyrus can help you out? “Maybe a rain check on shopping together, but I definitely would like that.”   
He’s a bit more upbeat again. At least that satisfied him a bit… Hopefully.  “Alright, darling. I’ll see you when you get home. Be safe, love!”  
“I will. Love you, Aster.”  
“And I love you. See you soon.”   
When Aster hangs up, you immediately dial up his younger son. “Papyrus, I need your help.” You feel Determined to make this work.   
“HELLO, BOYFRIEND OF DAD!  WHAT CAN THE GREAT PAPYRUS DO FOR YOU?”

You turn down the volume on the speaker phone. “Uh-Uh… Uh this is going to sound strange, but I need you to kidnap your Dad for me for a little bit. Like, now. For like. Two hours. Do some Gyftmas shopping or something. Can you?”   
“I WOULD, _______, BUT ALAS I HAVE A COOKING LESSON WITH UNDYNE IN ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES. HOWEVER, PERHAPS MY LAZY BROTHER SANS WOULD BE ABLE TO ASSIST YOU IN YOUR PLOTTING? HE ALWAYS WAITS UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO SHOP FOR GIFTS SO MAYBE DAD CAN GET HIM TO ACTUALLY PUT EFFORT INTO IT THIS YEAR.”  
Sans? He would know exactly what’s up if you called him. Fuck shit fuck shit. “Oh… um… sh—shoot. Okay. Ah, sorry for bugging you Papyrus. Thank you, though!”   
“IT’S NO PROBLEM TO ME, _________! I WISH YOU LUCK IN YOUR ENDEAVOR TO SURPRISE MY FATHER!” 

W ait, you didn’t say that you were surprising Aster to him . Is it that obvious? Or maybe Papyrus isn’t as naive as you thought…  “Uh… Thanks. Papyrus. H-Have a good time with Undyne!” You stammer. He’s always a bit rambunctious right before his lessons. You forgot what today was  for him. Maybe asking Sans for his help wouldn’t be so bad?   
“OH, IT’S ALWAYS A GOOD TIME WHEN SPAGHETTI IS INVOLVED! THOUGH IT’S MORE FUN WITH RIGATONI! SO MANY PASTAS TO LEARN YET! NYEH-HEH-HEH!”   
Papyrus hangs up and you grumble. You’re stopped at a stop light before you turn onto the mountain road. Taking a deep breath, you dial up Aster’s eldest son.   
“sup, kid?” Sans yawns. 

“Uhhhm. Hi Sans. Not much. Um. Could you do something for me?”

“mmmmm, mmmayyyyybe,” the skeleton retorts coyly.   
“Could you **please** let your Dad drag you out to go shopping? Just for like… a couple hours. I’m trying to plan a surprise and he made it home too early before I actually got it set up. Please??” You try not to beg. But you’re desperate.   
“mmm. what’s the surprise~?” 

What. A. Cunt. Of course he’s going to ask. You blush. Thankfully he can’t see you. “Just. A surprise.”   
“oooohhhhhhh~ i gotcha. heh. sure kiddo. no problem. your ‘surprise’ is safe with me.  heh heh heh ”

You sigh in relief. Well. That could have been worse from him. He could have said no. “ Thanks so much, Sans. Seriously. You’re saving my ass here.” 

“heh no you are. for dad.”

You squeal and hang up as Sans is howling with laughter.  You’re muttering ‘oh my gods’ under your breath the rest of the way back home, unable to keep your blush from burning through your ears and into your scalp. So awful!  Fucking. AWFUL.  
You make it home, and Aster appears to have left with Sans as he promised. Perfect. You park in the garage on your side and hustle to get everything inside and set up in the bedroom. You place the LED candles, you set up the bed tray with the  steamed  oysters and octopus  (in which you t ransferred to one of the glass serving trays with a cover and fresh ice ) , and the chocolates displayed with it as well  as Aster’s favourite champagne that you managed to track down and hide for a couple weeks in your car without issue.  By the time this is all ready, it’s been an hour and a half. You fiddled around trying to get the candles placed  **just** right, and the position of the tray on the bench at the foot of the bed is perfect, and made sure the trail of little notes tied with ribbon are where Aster can see them. You check your phone as you select the playlist you meticulously sifted through to connect to the bluetooth speakers in the house. No indication of how things are with Aster… and it’s making you nervous. Is Sans trolling you? He wouldn’t be  **that** mean would he?

You suck it up and text Aster to see how the shopping is going. And when he’ll be home.

>Hey Aster, how’s the shopping going?

<It’s going alright. Sans is being oddly cheerful. He normally hates gift shopping, so I will take this as a blessing. Lol. Though, I wish you could have joined me. I miss you.

You pace down to the living room to get a bottle of water while you text him.  You feel bubbly and excited as this seems to be working out better than you planned. You owe Sans one.

>I miss you too, Aster. Um… do you know when you might be done? I’m almost done with my errands and I was wondering if we could just have some nice, quiet time together at home and catch up? I can cook us a little something nice

There’s a long pause before he answers. Maybe he’s checking out his finds right now? About fifteen minutes go by, and you see a vehicle pass by the window looking out front. Your phone buzzes.

<I am home now, actually. Sans and I just went to Delta Run to shop today. I want to save downtown for us!

**Oh Shit.** It’s Aster’s car. Panic takes over and you freeze nervously. You didn’t know he was that close!  In a rush, you try to run up the stairs and trip and bruise your knee in your haste. But that doesn’t stop you from climbing on all fours the with your water bottle in your teeth the rest of the way up to hurry to the bedroom and throw on your lingerie as fast as possible. You hear Aster open the door downstairs and you hastily throw the box from the shop on the bed and throw it open. He calls out your name in curiosity, and you swear you can hear the hesitation when he finds the first note and actually hears the music. You’re cursing to yourself quietly. You spent so much time fuddling with the details you forgot to think about showering or at least freshening up before he made it back. You pray that you don’t smell too bad. After stripping you run to the bathroom and throw on just a  **bit** more deodorant, just in case. And you trip again when you dash out to the bedroom again, this time over your jeans. Aster calls out again, hearing you fall, and you hear him skipping the other notes to climb the stairs to check on you. 

“Fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuck!” You whine, crawling to try to at least get the stockings on so you’re not just sprawled naked on the floor with no class. You throw yourself onto the edge of the bed to pull on the stockings, and just as you pull the second one up to your thigh Aster opens the door. 

“_______, are you okay? I--” He pauses in the door, absolutely stunned when he sees you naked on the edge of the bed pulling on only half of what you bought. You freeze like a deer in headlights, your body burning in blush from head to toe as if being caught doing something bad.

“Uh… h-hey Aster~” You stammer awkwardly.

“________…. What is all this?”   
“Um. Happy… Happy Gyftmas?” Your voice cracks nervously.

Aster stands there stunned.  The Lich’s eyes scan over everything, as if trying to piece together a puzzle. He sees the candles, the tray of food and champagne, the box of lingerie you were apparently pulling from, and of course, the long purple stockings that match whatever is in the box. He looks confused. Then like he’s thinking. Then when he actually s eems to understand what you’re wearing (or lackthereof), it seems to click with him. He  blushes so brightly he glows purple, which flickers against the faux candlelight. Are...Are those tears?

“A-Aster?” You turn, now concerned you overstepped some sort of unspoken rule to him. He takes a step toward you. And another. And another. You stand and meet him halfway. “Aster… Are you okay?”

He sniffs and smiles. “I’m just fine, my darling boy.” He leans down and giggles a little, kissing you tenderly on the lips. His hand brushes against your cheek. “So you’ve been planning this for quite a while, have you? I should be afraid. It’s not easy to keep secrets from a Lich,” he teases. “But, considering this is the result, I am actually more impressed~ Such a clever boy.”

“It’s… not **exactly** how I planned,” you admit bashfully.

“Hush now. The fact that you pulled all of this off is more than amazing, darling.” He kisses you again. And again. He moans a little, rubbing your back as he pulls you in. “No one has ever gone out of their way to treat me like this. Thank you, so very much, _________. It is indeed the best Gyftmas gift I’ve ever received.”   
“Um, actually. This is only part one of this gift.” You feel the blush creeping in again. 

“Oh, I know darling,” Aster coos, nuzzling you and hugging you to his body. His fingers knead into your back soothingly. You hug him back and nuzzle his belly. Mm, you like the mingling of his scent and the ozone from the lab. It reminds you of just how important this Monster is, to everyone. It fills your SOUL with pride for him. He chuckles, reading your mind again. “Mm, you’re so very sweet, _______.”

You pull away and grin at him, still holding his hand. Tugging on his fingers, you try to get him to come into the bedroom further and join you. He complies, summoning a tentacle to close the door behind him to make sure Princess doesn’t try to interrupt you two.  Your heart is pounding. You’re nervous, excited, and scared and happy.  You move the box to the floor. You can always put it away for another time. He sits with you on the bed, and rubs down your side to your thigh. “Hm, these are very nice, ________. Where ever did you get them?” 

“Oh… That shop that you told me about downtown for a packer harness. The workers there were very nice, and helped me pick them out.”

“Ah~ So you went shopping without me then!” He teases, leaning in to kiss you again. You kiss him back and sigh. You did, but with the intention on surprising him! “I know, love. I’m teasing you.”

You giggle awkwardly and kiss him one more time before leaning over and taking the lid off the tray to reveal what you bought for tonight. When you’ve set the lid aside, you realize you’re in a compromising position a little too late. Aster takes the opportunity to spank your ass lovingly. And you moan. Oh. You didn’t know you liked being spanked…. “My, my! Full of gifts tonight, aren’t we? All of this just to say you wish to couple tonight?” He spanks you again lightly, and you shiver  before sitting back on your legs again and rub his chest.

“I… wanted to give you the one thing I’d been too stubborn to let go of. The one thing I’d hesitated for ages on allowing. But-- I was being selfish. You’ve been the most loving, caring partner and I want to show you in any way I can how much I appreciate you.” 

“That is so very sweet, darling. Thank you.” He kisses you again and squeezes your thigh gently. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to do anything though. What I do for you I do out of love and adoration.” 

“I know. I don’t feel obligated. I promise you that. I truly want to give myself to you, Aster. Out of love, and adoration.” You lean over and grab an oyster from the tray, offering it to him shyly. He accepts it gracefully, steadying your shaky hand with his own as he slurps down the juicy meat surprisingly quick. He licks his lips and kisses you. Mm, salty. Aster chuckles and flicks his tongue against your lips as he takes the empty shell from you and sets it on the tray. He offers you one, and you drink it down (not as gracefully as he manages to though). You lick your lips and lean in to kiss him. He moans against your lips as your hands travel down his shirt to unbutton it. 

“I must admit, ________. I didn’t know you were so romantic,” Aster teases, rubbing your shoulders as you help him shrug off his button down. You lean in to kiss his chest and nuzzle him.

You smile. “I  have ideas occasionally,” you tease back, kissing down his chest and rubbing up his sides.

Aster chuckles and twists to lay you on your back, more in the middle of the bed. You reach up and rub the back of his head gently, careful of the pitch black scars. He doesn’t seem to like those being touched. The Lich leans down and kisses you once again, and you can hear him unbuckling his belt and feel him sigh in relief once his pants are off. Definitely a universal thing.

What  **isn’t** universal, though, is Aster’s ability to toss your mindset directly into the pit of submission. With each kiss, each touch he bestows, you lose a little bit more of your control. Not that you mind. You briefly feel bad for being so subby, but Aster is quick to snuff that out with a look. He clearly enjoys the dominating role, so there’s no reason to feel bad is there? He kisses down your neck, your collar bone, over your breastbone, and back up again. “How do you want to give yourself to me, my love?” You… didn’t really think this far. How do you want to be taken? A pang of panic strikes through your SOUL, and Aster can see it. “Shh, it’s alright. Relax. We can take this as slow as you like. I assume that’s why you brought food and drink into the mix—so we may take our time.” 

He always knows exactly how to calm your nerves. It’s one of the many, many things you love about him. With a small smile, you lean up and kiss him again. His hand travels down to your knee, then up your thigh toward your bikini line.  Your breath is shallow. “Breathe, love. I won’t do anything you won’t like. I promise you that.” You knowingly nod and take a deep breath. “If you wish for me to take you tonight, I should prepare you properly for this. My shaft is not like one you’ve seen,  or experienced. ” 

Your skin flushes. Oh god. Of course it is, he’s a Monster, not a Human. Another thing you didn’t think of. “W-What...”

“Relax. It’s nothing too painful or wild, I promise you. However, it is rather thick and it will make it much more pleasant if I prepare you. May I?” He rubs against your bikini line to emphasize what he’s insinuating. You take another breath, and nod. “Alright. We’ll take this slow, love.” You close your eyes and pay attention to how his fingers trace along your lips. Despite being on testosterone for several months now, you’ve found yourself still able to get extremely wet under the right circumstances. It’s certainly not shocking that you’re soaking under the careful ministrations of your Daddy’s hands. “Spread your legs just a bit more for Daddy, darling,” he mutters soothingly, moving to lay next to you, snuggling as close as possible to you as his hand pauses at the top of your slit. You accept the snuggling and slowly open your legs wider, taking a deep breath as you look up at Aster. He dips down and gives you a soft, loving kiss on the mouth while his finger dives into your folds, taking time to roll over your growing clit before slipping toward your pulsing opening. You kiss him back frantically, your heart rate spiking again. Closer, he’s closer than he’s ever been. It’s exciting. It’s hot. And for once, you don’t feel dysphoric about being touched so intimately. You twitch as the tip of his finger rims your opening, and trails back up to tease you. Aster breaks the kiss to hush you when you start to whimper. His lips brush yours as he speaks, his hot, sweet breath on your skin. “Do you wish for me to count down, or just do it, darling?”

You pause. It reminds you—just a bit—of when you gave yourself your first injection. You know you’ll panic if he counts down, and tensing or recoiling will just make things worse. “Just… just do it. Pl-Please, Daddy.”

He leans in and smiles against your mouth. “As my sweet boy wishes.” His strong hand slips down once more and twists to line his palm up  properly, and with a smooth motion inserts his first finger all the way up, curling it with care as it reaches your cervix. Your back arches reflexively, your entrance and walls tensing around his digit. A strained, cracked squeal leaves your lips, and your knee jerks up in surprise. 

“D-Daddy!” you moan in a mix of pleasure and confusion. This actually feels… good!? But you don’t get time to think on it. Aster has a **very** good inclination on what your brain is trying to comprehend and he doesn’t want you overthinking when he wants you to feel so good as his submissive. He immediately begins to pump his finger, immediately causing every seed of panic to be swept away in a torrent of pleasure. You twitch, and whine, and blush as the movement causes slick squelching sounds between your legs. One of your hands moves to hide your face, or cover your mouth, but Aster stops you with his face in another sweet, passionate kiss. 

“There will be no hiding from me, darling. I wish to see that I am pleasuring you. As I am sure you will want to see me being pleasured by **your** ministrations.” His tone is firm with you. There is no arguing with that logic. He pumps faster. Your breathing follows suit. You look up at Aster hazily. Your body is trembling. His finger keeps hitting just the right spot again and again. He’s quick to surprise you once more though, when he sneaks in a second finger. It stretches you deliciously, the way he wiggles his fingers inside you. Your voice wants to keep going higher. And higher. But your throat can’t do it anymore, so you honk and moan and sigh and crack. 

He smiles and kisses you with each little sound and face you make. You kiss him back desperately. You hadn’t felt this needy in so long, and now that you’re here, intimate with him after months of waiting and wondering, it’s almost too much already. Your walls are squeezing his fingers. He hums in delight as they flutter on his fingertips, and adds a third finger after a bit of time. Your hips reflexively buck up into his hand. “Ooh my, darling! You’re so needy for this, aren’t you?” Aster teases,  thrusting a bit harder now that you’re more properly stretched out.

“D-Daddy… ngh…” You whine pathetically. Shock after shock of pleasure rockets up and down your spine with each deep thrust of his hand. You didn’t think you’d ever be able to stretch this far. His hand is massive compared to your size, and you figured you’d break or rip in half before he’d got this far. But here you are, frothing at the mouth for more. 

After a few more moments of wiggling and thrusting his fingers, he giggles. “Mm, you never answered my earlier question, dear. How do you want me to take you?” 

You feel so close to orgasm, you can’t even think about how you want to answer that now. “Um..mm...ahh… d-d...dunno...” You manage as you nuzzle against Aster and kiss wherever you can reach in this compromising position. 

“Mm, now, now. You know that’s not an acceptable answer, sweetheart. Perhaps I should let you hang on that edge so you can think on that a little more?” You stare at him. He wouldn’t dare. He grins deviously, though. “Oh, yes, darling, I would~ Mm, have you not ever reached completion with a thick, throbbing cock deep inside after being denied again and again? Orgasm is so much more intense with edge play, after all!” 

“D-Daddy, p-please…!” You beg. You can’t stand not cumming. Not one bit. Edge play makes you so frustrated. The very talk of it is snapping you out of your haze rather quickly and it’s making you mad.

“Please, what? You must use your words, love,” Aster teases, slowing his hand to a lazy push. 

You whine. No, you  **growl** . “Please, please, Daddy! I  **need** to cum! Please? I’ll—I’ll be good, I swear!”

“You are very, very good, darling. That’s not at all what I’m insinuating. All I want is you to tell me just how you wish me to take you~. You can do that, now, can’t you? A little pre-orgasmic haze isn’t too much for you, surely.”

God. Fucking. Damn it! He thrusts harder again, making you growl again and arch your back into his hand. “AAAAH! ASTER, Please! Please, I want—I want--!” 

“ **What** do you want, darling?” He insists, continuing his harsh pace. 

“I WANT YOU TO BREED ME ON MY BACK, PLEASE, DADDY PLEASE!” You finally manage out, just seconds before the shudder of one of the strongest orgasms you’ve ever had rocks your whole body. Whether that is from Aster’s goading, his hand, or both you’re unsure. What you do know is that your head is spinning both from being unable to really shout like you used to and the fact that your orgasm was extreme to start off with. 

Aster slows his hands as you come off of your peak, withdrawing carefully as he helps you lower your body back to the bed with his free hand. He leans down to kiss you gently. You’re sobbing a little, but it’s not from  being upset or afraid. Quite the opposite, that was rapture in of itself.  “That’s much better.  Mm, good boy. That’s all Daddy wanted from you.” He gives you another little kiss before pulling away enough to bring his hand he used on you up. His sweet tongue rolls over his fingers to clean off your juice. “You’re so sweet, darling. From your moans to your very essence, you’re more delectable than the finest chocolate.” Aster’s words make you blush as you catch your breath. How does he do that so easily? With a smile, he leans down and gives you one more kiss. It is again, surprising. You don’t seem to taste bad when it’s been mixed with Aster’s inherent (slightly chocolatey and creamy) taste. With a nuzzle to your forehead, he breaks the cuddling position to kneel next to you on the bed so he can take his bottoms off finally. “Now… I don’t want to startle you. Do you wish to see it before we continue? Or would you prefer to be in the dark until after?” 

You inhale sharply. You’re nervous. Only because he seems a bit nervous though. You know he can be shy about some things, despite being strong socially. You could have guessed that this is one thing he’s certainly shy about. “I. I want to see. Is that. That okay?” 

He smiles. “Of course, love.” He steels himself with a deep breath of his own before tugging off his trousers and pants. From under his clothes unfurls a thick, long tentacle. It’s black and smooth, unlike the others you’ve seen appearing magically.  You can’t help but stare as it undulates and wiggles and throbs in the low light of the candles. It’s almost...surreal. Almost beautiful. You reach out, your curiosity surpassing your post-orgasm haze, to touch the odd tendril serving as Aster’s cock. It’s firm. And smooth. The spade tip has a hole, and it’s already beading with some precum. It’s nearly hypnotizing in its own right. 

“It’s… beautiful?” You say in slight confusion. 

Aster chuckles awkwardly, twitching as your thumb brushes over the tip. He seems surprised by your reaction. Pleasantly surprised. “Thank you, ________. Mm. I am happy that you find it so appealing.” He reaches forward and pets your hair lovingly. You nuzzle into his palm and sigh, squeezing and lightly rubbing your hand up and down the slightly squidgy shaft. Aster moans. “Well… Shall we crack on, darling?” 

After a few more curious squeezes, seeing that the bead of precum is already dripping down, you nod. The idea of being under Aster is certainly more pleasant than you ever thought being under anyone would be. He swings himself around and positions himself between your legs the best he can while you adjust. He doesn’t rush you. He gives you plenty of time to situate yourself comfortably, with a little suggestion from him where to best place your legs. They end up loosely wrapped around his arms, at his elbows, so you’re not bent in half so deeply. It’s shockingly comfortable for how much taller he is than you. His hips press forward into your body, and the tentacle cock slips between your lips easily. It slides against your folds a few times, gaining much-needed lubrication. And the texture alone makes you shudder. It’s hot, and smooth, like warm silk against your skin. A timid moan slips through your lips. And another one when he lines up the spade tip with your opening. He pauses when you whimper a little as he presses forward. “Are you alright, sweetheart?” Your Daddy asks gently. 

You nod. “Yes… Yeah, I’m fine. I promise. Just a little nervous.” 

“It’s okay. You can tell me to stop at any time,” Aster reassures. 

“I know. I. I don’t want you to though. It feels good. It’s just. Performance anxiety. Heh.” You knead the sheets. Your fingers couldn’t wrap around the base of his cock, so you **know** this is going to stretch you pretty far. 

He reaches up a little and pets your cheek lovingly. “Just take a nice deep breath for Daddy. I’ll take this slow, alright?”  You do as he asks of you. You feel a bit better. And it begins. Little thrusts, little by little, the tip slowly twists into you, twitching and throbbing and warm. Aster reminds you to breathe after every few pushes. “Good boy,” he praises. “That’s the way. You’re doing so well. You’re taking my cock so well!” Slowly but surely, he manages to actually hilt all the way inside of you. Your deliciously full, and the tentacle is curled up into you and nestled comfortably against your cervix. The tip is pushing over your g-spot just right. 

“Hhhholy fuck...” you moan, your arms reaching up behind you to grip the pillow. Drool is beginning to pool in your mouth a bit, and you can’t help the fluttering of your eyelids as he leans down to kiss you with more little praises. “D-Daddy… mm, Daddy you feel so good!” You sigh. He’s tight inside of you. Who knew tentacles would feel this fucking good?

He did apparently. Aster gives you a knowing smile and a little teasing thrust of his hips as he ducks down the rest of the way to steal a kiss momentarily. He drinks in your consequent cry in shock, and laughs as he backs away to wind up and thrust more seriously this time. Aster’s cock strikes deep into you with the pump of his hips, making a wet slapping sound as your hips meet. “That’s it. Take it all in. You’re such a good boy for me, _________.” 

You squeal. Again. And again. And again.  “Th-Thank you, Daddy!  I want to keep being your good boy! ” 

His pace quickens. “ You do such a good job of it. Such a sweet, handsome thing~” Aster sighs. The compliments paired with his punishing pace are making your heart race so hard at the moment. You’ve never felt this. You feel—what is this? He leans in and kisses you, his thrusts becoming shallow for a few moments. “It’ s belonging, it’s warmth, it’s intimacy,” Aster explains quietly with a nuzzle. “It’s love.” You want to cry, it’s so sweet. Your head is spinning from the combination of his sweetness and the level of stimulation you’re receiving. “It’s okay. Let it out, love.” He goes back to thrusting harder into you, picking up his pace again and driving into you with expert force. His cock is swelling inside of you as your walls tighten around it. “That’s it. That’s the way. You’re so close, aren’t you?” 

“Yes, Daddy! Agh—so, so close! MMGH~” You find yourself writhing under him as his speed becomes almost punishing. 

“It’s alright, love, cum for Daddy won’t you?” Aster is punctuating his words with his thrusts now, and it sends you careening over the edge into another mind-blowing orgasm. 

“Yes, yes, yeS, yES, YES! YES!!!” You cry out, flinging yourself up off of the bed to cling to him. He stops moving deep inside of you, instead curling around you to hold you to him against the bed as he releases as well. His seed fills you up, and drips out of you around the tight space. 

“Good boy. Such a good boy,” Aster moans into your ear. “Now… I think you’re more than prepared…”

“P-Prepared…?” you retort in your bliss, rubbing Aster’s back and kneading his shoulders. 

“Mm, yes. My little darling boy wanted to be bred, isn’t that right?” He teases, rolling his hips into you once to emphasize his meaning. 

Your body goes cold for a beat. Oh, shit. You did say that. Exactly. 

“Shh, don’t worry darling. I won’t actually impregnate you. However, I believe the motions are what you are looking for, are they not?” Well, he did already cum inside you once. That’s breeding, right? “Noo, not at all my love. You see, at least for Liches, breeding is an **all night** endeavor~” He chuckles devilishly. “So I would like to breed you _properly_ ~” 

You whine. Hoooooly shit this got ten billion times kinkier than you thought. 

The whine makes Aster hesitate for a moment. “Is… this too much for you, ________?”

You have to gather yourself. The switch from kinky to concerned causes a bit of emotional whiplash. “N-No, Aster, this is all amazing. I just. I’m surprised. I didn’t think you were this… intense?”

He smirks. “There is much to learn about me, darling,” the Lich teases, nuzzling you. He flexes a little, reminding you that his tentacle cock is still buried inside of you. It makes you yelp and moan. And it makes him laugh. “So, you are fine with the idea of being bred by your tentacle-cocked Daddy~?”

Aster thrusts again, goading you to blurt out your first instinctual answer. “Yes, Daddy, yes! Please breed me all night with your hot tentacle!”

Your Daddy laughs once more before withdrawing his hips from you and moving you onto your belly with your ass in the air. He pushes his hips forward into you to tease your dripping, messy folds and spanks your left cheek just enough to sting. “Then let’s crack on. There’s much to do and so little time to get to it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologize for getting this out so late! The end of the year got to me and really messed up my schedule. So, to make up for it, I am posting this Mega Chapter. My document program says this is nine whole pages nearly, so this is officially the longest installment of Sweet Boy so far! I will get to BioHazard as soon as I can as well. My schedule should be calming down again so this should be back on track soon enough. 
> 
> Thank you all for your continued support and patience! Much Love, and Happy New Year!


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